Went, going and Lived!!

Just a glemps of what we went through. What most are going throught, What others lived through.
Bumps and bruses but we are still alive

I am a Heart Mom

I just wanted a normal baby
With no tubes
And no oxygen


And no surgeries
And no beeping machines
I wanted to take my baby home in 2 days
And dress her
And lug her around to department stores in her car seat

I wanted to use her car seat

But instead, here we are
Stuck in a hospital room
Most are afraid to visit - it is awkward and sad

And then in parade the Heart Moms
Strangers
Strangers with babies like mine
Even babies who have finished their battle and are in Heaven
You can see it in their eyes -
They know

And they bring chocolate
And coffee
And Tears and Laughter
But mainly they bring empathy

And so they hold my hand and lift me up
When I cannot stand
And together we walk this journey

I am a Heart Mom
I know things one just should not know
I know what it's like to hear the words Edema
and Heart Failure.
I know that it takes 3 days for my baby's hunger pains
to go away
I know unpronouncible medical terms
I know that it is 29 centimeters from his nostril
to the top of his stomach
I know how to put a g- tube back if it comes out
I know that chest tube juice is impossible to get out
of baby clothes
I know the cry of another Heart Mom losing her child
I know what a running group of doctors means
I know what it's like to watch a machine
that has your baby's future written all over it
I know what it's like to wake in panic at beeping alarms
I know what it's like to feel like your baby
belongs to the hospital

But I also know what it's like
to leap with joy at my baby drinking half a teaspoon
to come out of 8 hour surgery and 45 days on a vent with good news
to defy the odds
to lift up another Heart Mom in tears
to be surrounded by Warrior Moms
to release a balloon in memory of an Angel
to survive a war
to be in the presence of a Miracle

So today I am a Heart Mom, I'm so proud to be .
And I wouldn't want to be anything else.