Looking Back.....

Ok so i was thinking.....How much can one peson handle? Is there a breaking point? How far until steel breaks? Is there a way to go on after you have been broken? Is there a "right way" to greive? If so, how can i prove you wrong?

I have lived my Worst nightmare and my best memories.

• April 1995--I lost granny
• March 6, 2007--Michael lost a grandfather
• July 2008-- I lost a grandmother
• Nov 12, 2008--I lost my Grandfather
• Dec 2008--I lost my Uncle Dusty
• Thanksgiving day 2009-- we lost Sarah
• Feb/Mar 2011--We lost a very good friend Michael Brisoc
• Sep. 6th--Married my best friend
• Nov 3th found out we were having a baby
• Feb 20t-- Found out she was a she and a heart baby
• March 15th--Cardio concult confirmed she was a heart baby
• May --Found out She Had HLHS and Mitral Valave stenosis
• July 5th--Kenndys Birthday
• July 8th-- Kennedys first open chest heart surgery
• July 8th--That night her heart stop, until yaya got there and then it started again
• July 8-12/13ish--Kennedy was on and came off ecmo
• July 11--Kennedys chest was closed
• July 17/18th-ish--Kennedy caguht a yeast infection in her cheast and blood Chest was opened again
• July 24-25th-- Her chest was closed
• July 27th-- WE were called to the hospital and told our little girl would not be leaving the hospital, We held her and loved on her untill we felt the time was right.
• Aug. 1st-- Kennedys memorial sevice
• Aug 23. Michaels 1 birthday as a daddy to an angel
• September 6th--  Our first Anniversery without our little Monkey girl
• Oct 4th-- My first birthday  as a mommy to an angel

Dont count your chickens before the eggs hatch....Has been my real life story....... Will i be afraid to get to close to our next child? How can there be a next child when the first isnt a year? Where do you pick up and go from here? How can I love a child that lives in heaven? How do you start to tell your others about kennedy?

When you look at yourlife and you start to think that everything is wrong.....Think it could always be worse.....YOu could love a child that now lives in heaven...and heaven aint a day trip!!!