4 is company!!

July 25(ish), 2013 we will be adding one more to the Thomas-Fuller family

Our rainbow baby
In some circles, babies born to families after the loss of a child are referred to as "Rainbow Babies." The idea is that the baby is like a rainbow after a storm. "Rainbow Babies" is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

Went, going and Lived!!

Just a glemps of what we went through. What most are going throught, What others lived through.
Bumps and bruses but we are still alive

I am a Heart Mom

I just wanted a normal baby
With no tubes
And no oxygen


And no surgeries
And no beeping machines
I wanted to take my baby home in 2 days
And dress her
And lug her around to department stores in her car seat

I wanted to use her car seat

But instead, here we are
Stuck in a hospital room
Most are afraid to visit - it is awkward and sad

And then in parade the Heart Moms
Strangers
Strangers with babies like mine
Even babies who have finished their battle and are in Heaven
You can see it in their eyes -
They know

And they bring chocolate
And coffee
And Tears and Laughter
But mainly they bring empathy

And so they hold my hand and lift me up
When I cannot stand
And together we walk this journey

I am a Heart Mom
I know things one just should not know
I know what it's like to hear the words Edema
and Heart Failure.
I know that it takes 3 days for my baby's hunger pains
to go away
I know unpronouncible medical terms
I know that it is 29 centimeters from his nostril
to the top of his stomach
I know how to put a g- tube back if it comes out
I know that chest tube juice is impossible to get out
of baby clothes
I know the cry of another Heart Mom losing her child
I know what a running group of doctors means
I know what it's like to watch a machine
that has your baby's future written all over it
I know what it's like to wake in panic at beeping alarms
I know what it's like to feel like your baby
belongs to the hospital

But I also know what it's like
to leap with joy at my baby drinking half a teaspoon
to come out of 8 hour surgery and 45 days on a vent with good news
to defy the odds
to lift up another Heart Mom in tears
to be surrounded by Warrior Moms
to release a balloon in memory of an Angel
to survive a war
to be in the presence of a Miracle

So today I am a Heart Mom, I'm so proud to be .
And I wouldn't want to be anything else.

Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving has come and gone. I have PERSONALY enjoyed myself. Yes it is possible. I tried to look past the elephant in the room and enjoyed myself. I am not fully "over it"...I have leared to live with my Angel daughter. She wouldnt want mommy and daddy to be sad, but yet move forward and spread awarness and tell her future siblings about her. She will always be our daughter but we need to live. Weither that be with her or without her we NEED to do that.


I Honestly the sence of normal this past holiday. It was NEW NORMAL.....YAY go US.

We did it honey one down one more to go...we can do it.

It just got REAL

Holidays Just got real.....

I have no daughter making it twice as hard to plan, No baby to worry about napping, No baby to get dressed up.

As you hussle around and grip about your child not behaving or having the attention span to pay attention..Be thankful you could not have your baby here to grip at.

First BIG holiday without Kennedy, The people who were there arent, the people that are are slim to none. It hurts know people who i thought was family hasnt called in a month. Havent ask if we were ok. But its ok I have more love then i EVER Knew

To My angel I love you more than you will ever know.

Andrew, I love you too, Happy 1st angel birthday!!

Whats it like

A while back someone ask whats it like being an angel mom? At the time i didnt know but now I know...Its like loving someone you cant touch or hear or have interacctions with. Try having a baby, Going home empty handed, then not having them there at ALL. I woke up to pump by alarm not by baby. I got to eat HOT meals not cold. I got to take showers however long i wanted not be begging someone to watch her soi can get the 3 day stench off. I have Memories not realality. I have pictures not HER. Being an angel mom is basicly like being in jail...talking through glass, no touching.

Thats what it feels like to be an Angel mom.

Letters to heaven

Dear Kennedy,
   
As I sit in your room wondering why its still clean.  Why it doesnt smell? Why your clothes still have tags? I sat and listen to a classical song Time To Say Goodbye by Emile Pandolfi. I never wanted to but had to. YOu left, I still have questions. I know in due time i will get them answered but you know better than anyone i am not patiant. I cant wait to see you and your perfect body. Baby girl you came and left so fast. I wonder everyday what your like, Who you look like, Me or your daddy? I try not to cry and not to miss you. but sweet angel i wouldnt be your mommy if i didnt. You were so anticipated and we longed to have you andlove on you. You were so brave, You dealt with more and under went so much more then i ever anticipated. I miss you, I miss your touch, your smile, your smell. Its the little thing i never thought i would miss untill you were gone. But Fly sweet angel, Fly with your perfect heart,Your PERFECT BODY! Love you until we meet again

Mommy

Looking Back.....

Ok so i was thinking.....How much can one peson handle? Is there a breaking point? How far until steel breaks? Is there a way to go on after you have been broken? Is there a "right way" to greive? If so, how can i prove you wrong?

I have lived my Worst nightmare and my best memories.

• April 1995--I lost granny
• March 6, 2007--Michael lost a grandfather
• July 2008-- I lost a grandmother
• Nov 12, 2008--I lost my Grandfather
• Dec 2008--I lost my Uncle Dusty
• Thanksgiving day 2009-- we lost Sarah
• Feb/Mar 2011--We lost a very good friend Michael Brisoc
• Sep. 6th--Married my best friend
• Nov 3th found out we were having a baby
• Feb 20t-- Found out she was a she and a heart baby
• March 15th--Cardio concult confirmed she was a heart baby
• May --Found out She Had HLHS and Mitral Valave stenosis
• July 5th--Kenndys Birthday
• July 8th-- Kennedys first open chest heart surgery
• July 8th--That night her heart stop, until yaya got there and then it started again
• July 8-12/13ish--Kennedy was on and came off ecmo
• July 11--Kennedys chest was closed
• July 17/18th-ish--Kennedy caguht a yeast infection in her cheast and blood Chest was opened again
• July 24-25th-- Her chest was closed
• July 27th-- WE were called to the hospital and told our little girl would not be leaving the hospital, We held her and loved on her untill we felt the time was right.
• Aug. 1st-- Kennedys memorial sevice
• Aug 23. Michaels 1 birthday as a daddy to an angel
• September 6th--  Our first Anniversery without our little Monkey girl
• Oct 4th-- My first birthday  as a mommy to an angel

Dont count your chickens before the eggs hatch....Has been my real life story....... Will i be afraid to get to close to our next child? How can there be a next child when the first isnt a year? Where do you pick up and go from here? How can I love a child that lives in heaven? How do you start to tell your others about kennedy?

When you look at yourlife and you start to think that everything is wrong.....Think it could always be worse.....YOu could love a child that now lives in heaven...and heaven aint a day trip!!!

A special day in Heaven

A fellow angel mom posted this and i thought i'd share with yall.......




A Special Day in Heaven~ Author Unknown~
Once upon a special day in heaven up above, the tiniest souls sat at God's feet, surrounded by His love.
The time was coming very soon, God said, "Don't be scared.Your family awaits your arrival,now let us get prepared." And so God looked upon these souls,in mute consideration. He knew the life each one would live, He weighed each situation.
...

The souls chatted amongst themselves and wondered who they'd be. They knew the day grew closer; soon they would meet their family.
How would you like to change the world? God asked each soul in fun. The chance to change a soul, a heart, is held by only one.
I'm going to make the world laugh, one soul said with a smile, for laughter heals a broken heart and helps us through each trial.Then take with you the brightest smile, and share your laughter well. The soul thanked God immensely and down to earth he fell.
And I'll remind the world to sing, a sweet little soul told the Lord. I have the gift of a beautiful voice, I can hit every note and every chord. You'll have the gift of music then, a voice, lovely and strong. Share your gift with others and let them hear your song.
I will show compassion, the next little soul raised her hand. Some people only need a friend, someone to understand. Compassion is a good thing. God said with much delight. For you, I will give mercy, you'll perceive wrong from right.
And so each soul shared every thought,vtheir plans, their hopes and dreams. And God explained that life, it is, much harder than it seems.
And as each soul began to leave in a scurry of laughter and fun, heaven became quiet and still, for left was only one. Come sit with me my little child, God said with a sigh. Do you know how many you will touch, in a world left wondering why?
Before your life comes to an end, you will know much strife, but you will teach those who know you, to cherish the smallest things in life. And some may only know you through a simple photograph. They'll never hold you in their arms, or memorize your laugh. Some may only know you through the words they read each day, but you'll do something wonderful, you will make them stop and pray.
The tiniest soul raised his head up, to touch God's firm, strong hand. Father, I am ready, for the life you have planned. And I will do the best I can without a word or deed, for you, Lord, are the planter, and I will be your seed.
He could already hear many praying,and although they had not seen his face, they were praying for his safe arrival, they were asking for mercy and grace.
What talent do I leave with Lord? What gift do you impart? All that you will need, God said, I've placed within your heart. And so God kissed this tiny child, knowing all that he would be, and whispered as he watched him go...... you'll teach them.... to love Me.

Guide Her Like you did me!!

" If i get to heaven before you have babies, I hug them and kiss them, Then I will send them to you SPOILD"

I vagly rememberthis but i do remember it. My Cousin(second but she is a cousin), had spina bifida, but it NEVER slowed her down. The drs told her she could do anything and she belived it. But from a young age i knew SARAH was differant but in my eyes she was her own kind of normal. Sarah never cared about what others thought, She loved like every day was her last. Sarah was everything i wished i could be. She went out with a bang just like she wanted.

When we found out Kennedy had a heart defect, i thought of sarah...I was going to teach her to fight just like she had done. That there was NO DIFFERANCE between you and the cheerleader doing flips...we would find away for you to do something if we had to. I knew i couldnt do it without sarah but she was guiding me and telling me i could, Just like we told her she could. I could she her face telling me that if i gave up she was going to kick my Butt.

Sarah, was our reason to fight. She gave me the greatest hope for Kennedy. I knew she gave me kennedy because she knew i would teach her to fight and fight and fight. Sometimes it doesnt feel like either one of them is gone. Yes LIFE IS SOOOOOOO unfair i have had to learn this the hard way but i learned it.

Tear and an EXPLANATION

Ok so tonight went as expected...Questions and tears!

Tonight for slyder it became real..she was a real baby with real problems. He asked about her "zipper" why she needed it, How much she weighted(the heart came in handy), what she liked, why she needed to tubes....He said "but its not fair she wasnt a year old"

Yor right life isnt fair think about how much fun she is having with JesusHeaven is just beyond the stars.

He cryed after i told him all the pennies he found means she misses him that mucha and when he dreams about her that mean she is thinking about him. after the pictures he realized that she is better off in Heaven even though he really wanted her here with him. Slyder got super excited when we told him we were ordering him a new one...did he want a brother or sister....

I mean how else do you tell him about someone that in his eyes wasnt real????

Knowledge Is power

Hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS) is a birth defect that affects normal blood flow through the heart. As the baby develops during pregnancy, the left side of the heart does not form correctly. Hypoplastic left heart syndrome is one type of congenital heart defect. Congenital means present at birth.
Hypoplastic left heart syndrome affects a number of structures on the left side of the heart that do not fully develop, for example:

• The left ventricle is underdeveloped and too small.
• The mitral valve is not formed or is very small.
• The aortic valve is not formed or is very small.
• The ascending portion of the aorta is underdeveloped or is too small.
• Often, babies with hypoplastic left heart syndrome also have an atrial septal defect, which is a hole between the left and right upper chambers (atria) of the heart.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that each year about 960 babies in the United States are born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome.¹ In other words, about 1 out of every 4,344 babies born in the United States each year is born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome




Surgery
Soon after a baby with hypoplastic left heart syndrome is born, multiple surgeries done in a particular order are needed to increase blood flow to the body and bypass the poorly functioning left side of the heart. The right ventricle becomes the main pumping chamber to the body. These surgeries do not cure hypoplastic left heart syndrome, but help restore heart function. Sometimes medicines are given to help treat symptoms of the defect before or after surgery. Surgery for hypoplastic left heart syndrome usually is done in three separate stages:

1. Norwood Procedure
   This surgery usually is done within the first 2 weeks of a baby’s life. Surgeons create a “new” aorta and connect it to the right ventricle. They also place a tube from either the aorta or the right ventricle to the vessels supplying the lungs (pulmonary arteries). Thus, the right ventricle can pump blood to both the lungs and the rest of the body. This can be a very challenging surgery. After this procedure, an infant’s skin still might look bluish because oxygen-rich and oxygen-poor blood still mix in the heart.
   
2. Bi-directional Glenn Shunt Procedure
   This usually is performed when an infant is 4 to 6 months of age. This procedure creates a direct connection between the pulmonary artery and the vessel (the superior vena cava) returning oxygen-poor blood from the upper part of the body to the heart. This reduces the work the right ventricle has to do by allowing blood returning from the body to flow directly to the lungs.
   
3. Fontan Procedure
   This procedure usually is done sometime during the period when an infant is 18 months to 3 years of age. Doctors connect the pulmonary artery and the vessel (the inferior vena cava) returning oxygen-poor blood from the lower part of the body to the heart, allowing the rest of the blood coming back from the body to go to the lungs. Once this procedure is complete, oxygen-rich and oxygen-poor blood no longer mix in the heart and an infant’s skin will no longer look bluish.

Infants who have these surgeries are not cured; they may have lifelong complications.
Infants with hypoplastic left heart syndrome will need regular follow-up visits with a cardiologist (a heart doctor) to monitor their progress. If the hypoplastic left heart syndrome defect is very complex, or the heart becomes weak after the surgeries, a heart transplant may be needed. Infants who receive a heart transplant will need to take medicines for the rest of their lives to prevent their body from rejecting the new heart.

4.5

Four and a half Months ago @ 3:28pm a little angel was born, Not to stay to long for God knew she would be leaving soon. She Fought and fought with the help of her mommy and daddy. She only hope what Jesus had told her wouldnt be true. She held on to the hope of her mommy and daddy. The day came...She cried and asked but Jesus you left them hurting, Jesus smiled and said "thats why you are here....to help and guide them from above it a job only you can do. Not popi or pawpaw could complete this for they are older souls, and you my daughter are younger and can fly quickly if need be." She smiled and said "i guess so, I dont like it, i REALLLY love my mommy she gave me kisses, and my daddy he made me fight, i wanted to jump in his arms and stay for ever." Jesus giggled and said " But Kennedy YOU can give your mommy kisses, and YOU can stay in your daddies arms, they feel you when you are there, they might not always see you but they KNOW when you are there." Kennedy Felt alot better.

For my Monkey Girl...I wake you becaues i know you would want me too. I am optimistic becaues you have taught me I can see the better side of life even when everything stinks. I love endlessly becaues there could not be a tommorow. I see becaues you have brought light in to my life. I fight becaues i know the true meaning of a fight. Thank you My daughter you are deffinantly MINE...I was that much trouble in 22 years, but you beat me in 22 days. Love and kisses to you as long as you are mine.

Every Storm Cloud Runs out Of Rain

What a rainbow baby?     The child you have afte the lose of another child. I never thought i would be trying to have a rainbow baby after having Kennedy...YOU get married, Have babies, grow old, your children bury you. Not the other way around. When you grow up you are never told that this could happen. I honestly NEVER would have thought something could go wrong with the heart, I was worried about other defects but the heart. Honestly I wasnt sure if i was ready to become "a Heart mom". The journey that God laid be for me, i wanted to scream "why my baby" what did i ever do to deserve this.....But i was soooo blind.

Having a heart baby really wasnt all bad. She showed me what TRUE LOVE was. Kennedy taught me sooo many lessons, I never would have know without her. I wanted a "NORMAL" baby but how do we know what normal is what if a Heart defect is "normal" in Heaven. I have met sooo many new friends that have become family "MY HEART FAMILY", while i lost my dad and most of that side of the family. I gained a new family the elite of the elite.

While i have lost soo many i used to call friends, i gain twice as many. Like the song says..."EVERY STORM RUNS OUT OF RAIN..." Just because I lost a child doesnt mean i cant be happy, theres no way my daughter would want me to cry, greive forever. I like to think when i have a "bad day" Kennedy is sitting next to me saying"momma i am right here and always will be".

I want everyone to know you can always ask questions about kennedy or our lives...ill answer to the best of my ability or ill find out the answers. I may cry but there not sad tears they are happy tears because you remembered her!!

To my angel, We love you and you are never far from our minds.

Holiday's????

As this hoiday season creeps up on us...i ask you to stop and pray for the familys that have lost a child or love one. Its harder than you think, Release a baloon or light a candle , But show them that you remember them.







Even though things are different I pray they stay the same.
Because the hours, the nights, the days; they just came.
I want the cold, the snow, the ice on the ground.
Time doesn't stop just because you're not around.
Shimmering lights, merry wreaths, and decorations on the tree.
But I hope, and I dream that you're thinking of me.
Candles that flicker, burn, and melt away.
Just like the words in my head that I need to say.
Familiar feelings, alone, and without you.
Even though it's old; it's still fresh, and it's new.
Light the logs, in the fire place, but don't let them go out.
I need to hold on to something bright to curve my doubt.
I want the gifts, and the presents underneath the tree.
Even if not a one of them is addressed to me.
Leave them wrapped, even after New Years they stay.
So there's always surprises, and a chance for a new day.

A few Poems i thought id share!!!

All written by Stephanie Husted

Some bonds cannot be understood...
Unless you have walked them before...
A path that I would not have chosen...
A future I just can't ignore.
We've all watched our children intently...
Memorizing each line...
And let them leave our loving arms...
And prayed things would be fine.
We've paced the halls awaiting news...
And wondered just what lie in store...
We've felt our own heart's racing as...
We walked through an ICU door...
We've seen the child we love so much...
Struggling to overcome...
The lines...the cords....the monitors...
No thoughts...no words...would come...
We've prayed for an improvement...
We've laid it in God's hands..
We've cried...we've hoped...we've worried...
We've wondered of God's plans.
We've learned just how a heart works...
Each valve and artery...
We've asked alot of questions...
We've faced each surgery.
And somewhere down this well worn path...
We've met more families...
Who know exactly what it means...
To live with this disease.
We've smiled at every triumph...
And shared in every sigh...
We've prayed for a child that struggles...
And each family that must say goodbye.
Some battles are fought with bullets...
And weapons made for war...
While these are fought in silence...
Behind a hospital door...
We've wondered what lies in our future...
We've been thankful for just one more day...
We've stopped and watched with tear-filled eyes...
Our children...as they play.
We've struggled with ounces and weight gain...
Why won't my child just eat?
But heart mom's ...we're a tough group...
We've learned how to face a defeat.
We've faced those moments...others do...
When life has got us stressed...
But it doesn't take long to remember...
That we are richly blessed.
We've taken on a whole new role...
One we we wouldn't exchange if we could...
We know that life is difficult...
We hold onto all that is good.
God chose each of us carefully...
I do believe he smiled...
Some bonds begin with strangers...
And just one special child.





Somewhere...someplace... today...
A family is waiting to hear...
Is something wrong with their baby?
The answers aren't quite clear...
This family has entered an unwanted world...
And they just don't know what to expect...
Somewhere...someplace... today
They first heard the words: heart defect.
And how they hoped this was not true...
And thought... this cannot be...
I too... know just how this feels...
For one day...this was me.
Somewhere...someplace...today...
A man and a woman embrace...
Their baby is in surgery...
They long to see her face...
They haven't got to hold her yet...
Without...a cord or line...
They pace the room awaiting news...
And hope she'll be just fine.
Prayers fill this busy waiting room...
And mom and dad are scared...
Somewhere...someplace..today...
The tiniest hearts are repaired.
Somewhere...someplace...today...
A child's growing fast...
Smiling,laughing,thriving...
His mom thinks...can this last?
It's almost easy...to forget...
That anything is wrong...
Somewhere...someplace..today...
Her child seems so strong.
Somewhere...someplace... today...
A little boy fights...just to live
A father holds his tiny hand...
His love...all he can give...
The doctor's are all baffled...
They fear that he might die...
Somewhere...someplace...today...
A family says goodbye...
Somewhere...someplace...each year..
More than 40,000 families will see...
What it means...when something's wrong...
They'll face a CHD.
Today...for just a moment...
Stop...remember...reflect...
Make time to tell someone you know...
"I've been changed by a heart defect".
Some bonds cannot be understood...
Unless you have walked them before...
A path that I would not have chosen...
A future I just can't ignore.
We've all watched our children intently...
Memorizing each line...
And let them leave our loving arms...
And prayed things would be fine.
We've paced the halls awaiting news...
And wondered just what lie in store...
We've felt our own heart's racing as...
We walked through an ICU door...
We've seen the child we love so much...
Struggling to overcome...
The lines...the cords....the monitors...
No thoughts...no words...would come...
We've prayed for an improvement...
We've laid it in God's hands..
We've cried...we've hoped...we've worried...
We've wondered of God's plans.
We've learned just how a heart works...
Each valve and artery...
We've asked alot of questions...
We've faced each surgery.
And somewhere down this well worn path...
We've met more families...
Who know exactly what it means...
To live with this disease.
We've smiled at every triumph...
And shared in every sigh...
We've prayed for a child that struggles...
And each family that must say goodbye.
Some battles are fought with bullets...
And weapons made for war...
While these are fought in silence...
Behind a hospital door...
We've wondered what lies in our future...
We've been thankful for just one more day...
We've stopped and watched with tear-filled eyes...
Our children...as they play.
We've struggled with ounces and weight gain...
Why won't my child just eat?
But heart mom's ...we're a tough group...
We've learned how to face a defeat.
We've faced those moments...others do...
When life has got us stressed...
But it doesn't take long to remember...
That we are richly blessed.
We've taken on a whole new role...
One we we wouldn't exchange if we could...
We know that life is difficult...
We hold onto all that is good.
God chose each of us carefully...
I do believe he smiled...
Some bonds begin with strangers...
And just one special child.



One day my world came crashing down,
I'll never be the same...
They told me that my child was sick..
I thought, am I to blame?
I don't think I can handle this...
I'm really not that strong..
It seemed my heart was breaking..
As, I'd loved him for so long.
I will not give up on this child..
despite your best "advice"..
I will give my child a chance..
No matter what the price..
And I will learn all that I need..
to help my child to thrive...
I'll even use that feeding tube..
My child will survive!
And he'll needs lots of therapy?
And he just can't gain weight?
Alright God I can do this..
I will not curse our fate.
The feeding pump beeps,( at 3:00 a.m.)
It serves as my reminder..
How many parents would welcome that sound?
Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.
Another angel earns their wings..
and I run to my sleeping child's bed..
I watch him then, for quite awhile..
(I bend down and kiss his head)
Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken..
And I look to You wondering why?
Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways..
No matter how I try.
And yet, I trust You hold his life..
(and guide us through each day)
My mind says savor each moment he's here...
But my heart whispers,"Please let him stay".
From... pacing the surgical waiting room...
to sitting by his hospital bed...
From... wishing for a good nights sleep..
to learning every med..
From... wondering will he be alright?
to watching him reach out his hands..
with every smile, my heart just melts..
(despite life's harsh demands)
For all who see that faded line..
I look to them and smile..
You see my child is loved so much..
I would face any trial...
That same scar I trace with my finger..
(It's the door to his beautiful heart)
You must have known how much I'd love him..
(Just as You loved him right from the start)
A heart mom is always a heart mom..
(wise beyond all of her years)
And for those who have angels in heaven..
Our hearts share in all of your tears..
On Mother's Day I will remember..
You chose me for him(and no other)
And I will embrace that beautiful day..
When I became a "heart mother".

Harder

This move has proven to be harder than i thought.

EMOTIONALLY::: Its been very hard, trying to tel my self Kennedy is everywhere i am. Trying to find a "new" "normal.

I would love to go out and party but I feel guilty. Not for going out but that i didnt get a babysitter , or didnt call a grandparent. I would love to just to be care free but i cant...I AM A MOM. But my child is no longer with us but a mom none the less. I want to have a drink or two or more, but i know that wont make me feel better. to be honest i am afraid of alcohol. I just am.

I am happy to say me and Michael have grown soooo much more close...I guess you can say we went throught the storm and came out holding hands and stonger than EVER.

 

Me and Michael are SOOOOOO strong. Yes we have our weaknesses but we talk....Talk all the time. talk about everything from 8ball to our future.

 

The move has yet to be proven ok for me but i am looking for work something outside of daycare. i think maybe once i am not just sitting at home all by myself then ill be ok.

 

 

 

I am going to send an angel in front of you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared.
Exodus 23:20 

7/5-27/2012

Kennedy was born 7/5/12 @ 3:28pm. She was born with a Congenital Heart Defect: Hyperplastic Left Heart Syndrome and Mitral valve Stenosis. She had open heart surgery 3 days after being born. She had good days and bad. July 27th, 22 days after being born, she was called back to Heaven. She caught NECK, Which is an infection of the intestines. Kennedy was our first. Both I and her father only held her once before she was called back to Heaven. Kennedy was a very content baby, she never really cried. She smiled ALOT. Kennedy was 1 of 100 children that is born with a CHD. It’s hard to think that our first NEVER knew what her home looked like or what her home smelled like. Faith is the only thing that has gotten me and her father through this time. Knowing that she is in no pain, knowing that she was here for a reason. What takes some people a lifetime to find their purpose, Kennedy found hers in 22days. Kennedy was and still is an ANGEL!!

I am more than just a proud mom...I am an ANGELmom!!

Songs of our life

This is the song i walked down the isle to

Song we walked back down the isle.

Mine and Michaels song

Kennedys Song

Kennedys Angel song

For My Husband

You are my rock, My bestfriend. Through everything you still amaze Me!! I tip my hat to the MAN you have become!!!!