Motherhood for me started years ago. I am the oldest of 4 and come from a large family. I helped were needed with each of them, i waslike a little mother to each of them. At a young age I knew what i wanted to be a MOTHER. I have always wanted to be someones mother.When I met my husband in July 2008 I knew he was the one for me, although we remained friends until September 2008, We were married September 6th 2011. Early on morning In November 2011, i took 5, yes 5 test and allllll were Positive. I was somebodies Mom. Although it took until February 2012 to figure out if baby was a he or she. After a wait in the waiting room, and various ultrasound techs in and out of my room, I knew there was something wrong. That day we found out that we were having a GIRL, Kennedy would be her name, but she was special. Our daughter had a congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic left heart syndrome, basically she would be born with half of a heart. We went to multiple drs and were monitored real close until our due date. I knew that being a mother to a special was an honor but there was that since of uncertainty. July 5th @ 3:28pm Kennedy Fallyn made her debut Earth side. She was so beautiful and Strong. I knew she needed surgery, but i wanted to hold her first so i did. the emotions were so strong i was somebodies MOM.. On day 3 Kennedy went in for her first of 3 surgeries she would need to help her survive. That evening, was the worst, Kennedy didn't have a heart beat for 15-20 Minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. They got her heartbeat back, Kennedy was a fighter. Kennedy had her ups and downs, she had good days and she had bad. Day 22 came.. that day July 27th... They wanted to speak to both her father and I, about the surgery they had done on her intestines. I knew, at that moment my baby wouldnt be coming home. Call it a mothers intuition but i knew at that moment she would never see life outside of the hospital. Day 22 We, my husband and I made the hardest decision we would ever make. After family got to come say their see you laters, we sent everyone out. At 3:28pm July 27th 2012 Kennedy was born into Heaven. Grief comes in waves. Some stonger than others. Being Kennedy's Mom didn't end when her heart stopped beating. Motherhood to this point was by far the hardest adventure i had ever been a willing participant in. We knew we didnt want kennedy to be our one and only. We talked and weighted everything. We prayed and we left it in Gods hands. Thanksgiving Day 2012, I was feeling yucky, so i took a test just to make sure. It was positive. I was going to be a MOM again. I had so many emotions. I was still grieving Kennedy. How could i be a mom to this baby. Well i tried and tried to be close to baby bug( i had horrible nausea), but it wasnt until we found out the baby was healthy that i allowed myself to get close. And even then i had problems bonding. We found out we were expecting a boy, which made it easier in a way. Jimmie was due July 27th, 2013, we had a funny little angel. But Early July 12,i went in tolabor and delivery for contractions. It wasn't until July 13th at 9:11am that Our Rainbow Baby ( a baby after a loss) Jimmie Wayde was born. Jimmie is now a happy, healthy 21 month old. He is everything a mother could ask for. I am still grieving, i will until the day I hold my baby forever. Being a Angel mom and Rainbow mom is very emotionally draining at times. But i would't trade it for the world. Our Rainbow Story isn't over yet we will be adding a 3rd child to our family in November.
Motherhood for me started years ago. I am the oldest of 4 and come from a large family. I helped were needed with each of them, i waslike a little mother to each of them. At a young age I knew what i wanted to be a MOTHER. I have always wanted to be someones mother.When I met my husband in July 2008 I knew he was the one for me, although we remained friends until September 2008, We were married September 6th 2011. Early on morning In November 2011, i took 5, yes 5 test and allllll were Positive. I was somebodies Mom. Although it took until February 2012 to figure out if baby was a he or she. After a wait in the waiting room, and various ultrasound techs in and out of my room, I knew there was something wrong. That day we found out that we were having a GIRL, Kennedy would be her name, but she was special. Our daughter had a congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic left heart syndrome, basically she would be born with half of a heart. We went to multiple drs and were monitored real close until our due date. I knew that being a mother to a special was an honor but there was that since of uncertainty. July 5th @ 3:28pm Kennedy Fallyn made her debut Earth side. She was so beautiful and Strong. I knew she needed surgery, but i wanted to hold her first so i did. the emotions were so strong i was somebodies MOM.. On day 3 Kennedy went in for her first of 3 surgeries she would need to help her survive. That evening, was the worst, Kennedy didn't have a heart beat for 15-20 Minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. They got her heartbeat back, Kennedy was a fighter. Kennedy had her ups and downs, she had good days and she had bad. Day 22 came.. that day July 27th... They wanted to speak to both her father and I, about the surgery they had done on her intestines. I knew, at that moment my baby wouldnt be coming home. Call it a mothers intuition but i knew at that moment she would never see life outside of the hospital. Day 22 We, my husband and I made the hardest decision we would ever make. After family got to come say their see you laters, we sent everyone out. At 3:28pm July 27th 2012 Kennedy was born into Heaven. Grief comes in waves. Some stonger than others. Being Kennedy's Mom didn't end when her heart stopped beating. Motherhood to this point was by far the hardest adventure i had ever been a willing participant in. We knew we didnt want kennedy to be our one and only. We talked and weighted everything. We prayed and we left it in Gods hands. Thanksgiving Day 2012, I was feeling yucky, so i took a test just to make sure. It was positive. I was going to be a MOM again. I had so many emotions. I was still grieving Kennedy. How could i be a mom to this baby. Well i tried and tried to be close to baby bug( i had horrible nausea), but it wasnt until we found out the baby was healthy that i allowed myself to get close. And even then i had problems bonding. We found out we were expecting a boy, which made it easier in a way. Jimmie was due July 27th, 2013, we had a funny little angel. But Early July 12,i went in tolabor and delivery for contractions. It wasn't until July 13th at 9:11am that Our Rainbow Baby ( a baby after a loss) Jimmie Wayde was born. Jimmie is now a happy, healthy 21 month old. He is everything a mother could ask for. I am still grieving, i will until the day I hold my baby forever. Being a Angel mom and Rainbow mom is very emotionally draining at times. But i would't trade it for the world. Our Rainbow Story isn't over yet we will be adding a 3rd child to our family in November.
