Life away from Life!!

When living with a child that has a heart defect, you learn to live on the edge. Not knowing is what hurts the most. The not knowing how to help her, not knowing if what i am doing is helping, not knowing what to do next.

I have soooooo many questions but i just don't know what to ask first.
LIKE:::::

• Why MY child?
• What does this mean for my future children?
• How come this happened?
• What can i do for her?
• Does everyone really think "why would you do this to your child?

My baby girl doesn't deserve her problems, she's just a baby! Her problems are adult issues not baby issues. Kennedy should be cornered about ...do i like this person, did that really come from me, whens the food coming. Not...this blood pressure cuff really hurts, i want my mommy if your going to take blood, am i getting enough oxygen.

As a woman you watch your mother and you learn how to be like her. Just being there is sometimes the only thing you can do.....and in my case the only thing i get to do. My husband and best friend both want to protect her and keep her safe....both of which don't think its far for an 8 day old baby to have to handle those issues. I totally agree but what she needs now more than anything is love and encouragement.

I think God wont give you anymore than you can handle. Sometimes it hard and i ask my self WHY ME....of all the people why me. I feel the judgement that people pass when i tell them she has HLHS. They then ask where and how she is...then i explain that she on her machines....They look at me like I did this to her, for my own selfish reasons. But in reality she is a normal healthy baby who just happens to need a little help getting a jump start.

Kennedy is a very special baby girl, who does things on her own time now ours. She gets her strength from her father and I ( who at times are weak). Kennedy is our rock as we are hers. She shows fear as she doesn't know whats going on. Kennedy Is OUR ANGEL, OUR LOVE, and OUR REASON!!!!