I saw you today

I saw you in the wind,I saw you in the moon, I saw you inthe little girl walking past me in the store. I saw you in the way you father looked at me. I saw you in my Smile.

To Know what true lost is, Is to to loose a child. A group that shouldnt be hidden but rather yet SCREAMED FROM THE MOUTAIN TOPS.
A parent should never out live their child, A parent shouldnt be picking out cascket, Before the parent has picked out daycare. I wanna say it'll all be ok but truth is.....It wont. It hurts like hell, It a pain thats worse than anything. I am still walking down the path of angel parenthood, the path unknown, The path less travled. I have a few parents i can look up to but honestly they are going through it to, I have a few that look up to me but they to know i am going through this. walking around places seeing parents who could care less about there kids then theres parent who are new to it and are scared. Then theres me who doesnt fit in to any catagory but why should I. I have found certian things are harder than others.....1st birthday partys for friends babies, knowing Kennedy will be forever 1 or 22days. Knowing Kennedy wont ever smash a cake, knowing that 2,3,4....ect will never come. Yes i have Bug-- Jimmie wayde, but it would have been fun to have all the first with kennedy that Jimmie will get.

Working toward a better tomorrow, Means that today will be a fight but i am ready. Through all of this Me and my Husband are ALOT closer, we are about to know when to push through the pain and when to just snuggle. Watching him go through this is hard, I know hes happy that he is having a little boy but i know secretly he wanted a little girl that would allow him to be "girly"....but i know that when he sees his son he will be extatic.