- never watching your child walk for the first time
-never hearing them cry just to cry.
- never getting to watch them grow up.
-feeling like you have lost more than you have gained.
Losing Kennedy has made it difficult to open up and scream my feeling. Yes I talk about her, but not how I feel a that moment. Feeling like you cant because you might offend that person, or that it might make for an awkward moment. I Love to talk about her just not the way I feel. I hold a lot in.
Being a Rainbow parent has its ups and downs too. Happy but to afraind to be TOO happy. Nervous and waiting for the other foot to drop. Always living in the what if moment. Afraid to let go and just do things. Planning for the best but the worst is never to far behind. Afraid to tell others you might need help because you don't want them to think your weak. Always trying to live up to others expectations.
My house may not be the cleanest nor the most organized. But theres one thing most homes don't have....A piece of Heaven. I try my hardest to think positive and see the brighter side but I don't always want to. If a parent you know is having a bad day or there pictures show a bit of dis-organization, please ask how they are. DONT JUST ASSUME!! I know its easier but sometimes they just need a bit of encouragement. I Struggle daily to try and keep a perfect house but the fact is I cant. I work, im a first time home mom. And I'd rather spend my time with my Rainbow rather than clean all day.
As for it being 1 year and almost a 1/2, since our see you laters, I miss her just as much as I did then as I do today. Her 22 days ment the world to me. Lets bury or take your child away for a year and see if you still miss them. So just Think.
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